Hi, I'm Jay, a chunky, bearded bloke living in Ontario, Canada.
Welcome to my LGBT-themed microsite!
ME IN A FEW WORDS🐻🇨🇦 chunky bloke in The North
♈️🔠 Aries Asian Bearded Chubby Dude
🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ #loveislove #translivesmatter
Ⓜ️🆑 believer in monogamy & committed love
🎵🐶 music buff & would-be dog dad
🌮🍹 taco lover & cocktail nut
😶5️⃣ INTP-T 5w4
I AM…🧔🏻♂️ a cisgender male whose pronouns are he / him / his.
🏳️🌈 an LGBT rights advocate, despite a departure from the quintessential LGBT lifestyle.
🧲 bisexual (formerly pansexual), which means I am sexually attracted to both cisgender males and cisgender females.
💚 aromantic (gray-romantic), which means romantic attraction is not a dominant factor in my relationships.
😶 an introvert (INTP-T) that loathes talking on the phone or video chatting with people. I consider myself socially inept and prone to reclusion.
👨🎓 a university student pursuing my second degree in Computer Science after a 1.5-decade-long career in education and business management.
PHOTOSMy photos are available on Tinder.
FAQFollowers on social media tend to ask some certain questions frequently. Here is an exhaustive compilation of those questions. Click on any question that interests you to get the answer.
Q1. Your age / zodiac sign / ethnicity?
30 years old as of 2016 / Aries / East Asian.
Q2. Your height, weight, and shoe size?
I'm 5 ft 8 in (172 cm) tall and weigh in at 175~265 lbs (79~120 kg). My weight fluctuates from year to year so much that the size of my manhood (classified as a top state secret) fluctuates as well. 🤐 My shoe size is 9.5 (EU size: 42.5).
Q3. Your hobbies?
I am a tech buff, music lover, foodie, Internet junkie, and fan of The Big Bang Theory. I do own a Switch, but gaming is not really my thing. I could be a homebody and enjoy the great outdoors as well. I don't like coffee that much because I'm a little bit caffeine-allergic. I listen to a lot of music every day and used to make music as well. I also enjoy surfing the Internet and wiki-binge.
Q4. What kinds of men do you like?
As a member of the bear community who falls into the "bi Asian bear (panda bear)" subset, I have a thing for bears, too. I don't have a clear definition of “bears.” They could be bigger or smaller, muscular or chubby, hairy or smooth. But facial hair is definitely a huge plus, as well as a deep voice and a bald head.
I would be captivated by personality traits associated with masculinity – but not exaggerated machismo. What's more, they should be around my age and share some common interests. I appreciate the beauty of self-confident chasers (slim guys), twinks, and superchubs (typically those over 400 lbs / 181 kg), but I may not have much sexual interest in them. Being bisexual means I'm not a full-time observer of gay dating culture and thus far from expert at "gay protocol." As such, those who obnoxiously throw their same-sex experience in my face put me off. I'd be more interested in an inexperienced straight or bi-curious man who is urbane and patient.
That said, nothing is set in stone.
Q5. What kinds of women do you like?
Quite the opposite of the men I like, ladies have to be relatively in shape to win my favor. I prefer girls younger than me.
I'm not a fan of busty girls, nor a fan of fake, overdone would-be starlet faces.
Oh, long hair is a big plus! So is her accent!
More importantly, she should be feminine and have a full understanding of my bisexuality.
Again, nothing is set in stone.
Q6. Are you a top, bottom, or vers? Are you looking for hookups?
First, I'm mostly a top, and I can be very dominant. Second, I'm not interested in meaningless hookups at all. Friendships and rapport carry far more weight.
Q7. Do you smoke, drink, or use substances? Would you consider a person who's not sober or "clean"?
I do not smoke or do any drugs. I'm not really 420-friendly, probably due to its repulsive odor. I don't even use poppers. Recreational drugs and aphrodisiacs have no place here.
I love cocktails and occasionally drink gins, rums, ice wines, red wines, white wines, and beers. I spend roughly $200 at LCBO every year.
In my personal experience, an alcoholic or a substance user (even one in years-long remission) may not be an ideal choice for dating, unless they're able to go about their business as easily as a normal person does without worrying about relapsing under any circumstance. However, from a friend's perspective, I'd always like to support them in their time of need. This also applies to an individual living with HIV (undetectable or not). We can have different statuses and still be friends.
Q8. How do you look at open relationships?
I am monogamous and commitment-minded. I value peace, love, and loyalty. My outlook on relationships and marriage is leaning toward the traditional side. At this point I don't feel like I'm well prepared for an open relationship, yet I understand and respect others' choices.
Q9. What do you mean by "a departure from the quintessential LGBT lifestyle" in you bio?
I'm aware that not all LGBT people are sharing the same manner of living, but from time to time I find my lifestyle different from that of the "majority." To name a few, hardly have I gone clubbing, patronized gay bars, joined gay bear cruises, mingled (sexually or otherwise) with a large group of LGBT people .... Just imagine a middle-aged reclusive daddy living next door.
Q10. Can an aromantic man like you enter a relationship?
Definitely yes. Being aromantic just means we're not attracted to people romance-wise. But there are a lot of other things to consider when entering a relationship: personality, intelligence, family-orientedness, loyalty, and so forth – in addition to sexual attractiveness. FYI, I'm actually gray-romantic, which means I have mixed feelings toward romance. I don't detest romance, but it's most assuredly not something I would crave or expect before starting a relationship. I would also feel a bit perturbed if the other person behaved remarkably romantically.
Q11. Would you consider children?
I am very family-oriented. If I were to marry a woman, raising our children would be a must if she wants to. If I were to marry a man, we could go childless or adopt our kids if he also wishes to. If my future spouse already has kids, I'd be happy to have them in our new family.
Q12. How body-positive are you?
I'm a body positivity advocate. It's important to be proud of your body size and shape irrespective of the bullshit society imposes on you. I'm by no means in shape or HWP in the mainstream sense, but I've always liked my body regardless of BMI. I once created visuals to promote #BodyPositivity:
NSFW - PARTIAL NUDITY image with audio
NSFW - PARTIAL NUDITY image
Being body positive means showing acceptance and appreciation of all body types, even if they are not your preferences in terms of dating.
Q13. Are you circumcised?
Nope, I'm proudly uncut. It's as intact as it can be but not phimotic. IMO, in most cases, circumcision is both culturally and medically unjustifiable. Unless performed out of medical necessity, it can bring about negative consequences and equate to inhumane mutilation. Some communities around the world are supposed to be more foreskin-positive. Some uncircumcised individuals' poor personal hygiene is not a reason for stigmatizing uncut men as a whole.
Q14. Are you a cat or dog person?
I'm currently pet-free, but I would be more than glad to live with a Shiba Inu or Golden Retriever.
Q15. DJ Khaled said he never performs oral sex on women. How about you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, I guess I'm a 3 when it comes to going down on women, so I outperform DJ Khaled in this respect. ✌️ For men, or rather bears, I'm like a 6. But I'm a 10 when it comes to receiving head from either sex, sure as eggs is eggs.
Q16. Have you got any tattoos or piercings?
I'm always thinking about getting my first tattoo. I have yet to determine the design, and I think it would be inked somewhere invisible to most people.
As to piercings, I don't have any, and I don't intend to get one.
Q17. As an Aries, do you have a high sex drive? Are you kinky?
I got such questions asked quite often not only because hypersexuality is one of the biggest misconceptions about Aries but also because LGBT people including bears usually don't regard sex (as well as kinks and fetishes) as a taboo and they're eager to know my sexuality for "compatibility" purposes – just like the classic "top or bottom bunk" question. And I believe it actually has little to do with zodiac signs. Aquariuses can be asked as often.
I started to track my sexual activity for health reasons back in March 2019 using Apple Health. Then I decided to create a website where data would be automatically synced to raise awareness of the relationship between better prostate health and higher ejaculation frequency (≥21 times per month, according to Harvard Medical School). As a result, you can get the answer by visiting this entirely text-based SFW website – Jam!.
"Seriously? No photos or videos for a 'cumlog'?"
"Sorry, hoes. To your disappointment, I have no interest in building an OnlyFans alternative."
In response to the second part of the question, I don't really have any kinks or fetishes that are indispensable to my sexuality. I'm open to new things, but they're very unlikely to become entrenched. Basically, I'm as vanilla as an average heterosexual Tom and relish austerity.